Hello Everyone!!

It has been awhile since the last blog - almost a month! Who knows if anyone is still looking for updates, but some have mentioned lately that they keep peeking once in awhile. I kept telling Pete that I would get to it, but I still get tired easily (mentally too). Well, here I am and getting stronger everyday - there is still a long ways to go though.

On Oct. 15 Pete and I went to the hospital in London. It was chemo day and I must say once we were there I was getting a bit nervous. Like a lady from church here said to me "It's one thing to take drugs knowing that they are going to make you better, it's another thing to take drugs knowing its going to kill everything in your body!" That was exactly how I felt. You are allowing someone to put this "poison" into you, and its going to slowly seep through your body and even into your BRAIN and there is nothing you can do to stop it. What a feeling. My isolation room wasn't quite ready yet so I was put in a ward for the time being. Later they wheeled me into my room. The isolation area was behind the nurses station. There was a big heavy door that led into a hand washing room/file room. Off of this room were three other small rooms, one for each cancer patient in isolation - I had the end room. Once in my room they came in with the chemo bag for my IV. This bag was not very big at all and it looked like water - so innocent looking! The IV went into my permcath which hangs out of my chest and it dripped for 35 mins. That was it. A high dose chemo done in half an hour and I was done with my chemo treatments, how strange when many others have chemo for months! Then the waiting started. I wondered when I would feel it, but I felt fine. I actually went out for dinner that night. The next day was good and the day after too. The 17th I had my transfusion. I was quite eager for this day because I wanted my harvest to start chasing after the chemo that had a two day head start! The doctors kept telling me I had a great harvest so that was even better in my eyes. I was disappointed though when I found out they had mixed my harvest with someone else's blood to dilute my stem cells. The nurse said "Sorry, is that a problem?". I said "Isn't it a little late now?" I took the transplant obviously, but later a doctor told me it wasn't about mixing up some one's blood with my blood. Stem cells are different than blood, blood can be broken up (cells, platelets etc.) and used for different reasons. This person's blood was my type but just there to dilute my stems cells which can be quite "sticky" and get stuck in the lines. The doctor's wanted to make sure every single stem cell of mine made it back into my body. Anyway, I ended up learning a lot about blood in London. I still felt fine and the nurses encouraged me to walk the halls as much as possible, to keep your muscles moving and strong. I asked when is the chemo going to hit me? They said by the following Wednesday (this was Friday).

Pete came on Sunday with kids. They came around noon but weren't allowed in my room because the girls had a bit of the sniffles. So I went out. They have a family lounge room just down the hall from the nurses station. At first Shaun was a little quiet. He was seeing if his mom was still OK or if maybe I was different now with the chemo. It didn't take long before he was saying "Hey mom, guess what happened at school?". The girls seemed alright with everything. It was still me and I still had hair, I was just a bit tired. Later the family took me outside for some fresh air in a wheel chair. I think Pete picked an old relic - I don't even think there was rubber on the tires!! Each of the kids took turns pushing me, I'm sure we hit every curb and bump on the grounds. After we went in and the nurses gave the kids pop and ice cream and pulled a TV into the family room and we watched a movie together. Just before they left at 5 I asked Pete to take the kids real quick to my room. This way whenever we would call each other later on in my stay the kids could picture where I was.

The following days I noticed I was getting a little more tired each day, other than that I was still good. The only problem I had was thinking "OK three more days till Wed., now two more days till Wed etc". Finally it was Wednesday morning and I was still alright. Pete came to see me that day, but after he left everything hit me. I was very tired and my appetite had been slowing down. It felt like I had a real bad flu. The "icing on the cake" was getting the runs though. The nurses wanted a sample to run down to the lab to see if it was an infection or just the runs. Then they would know how to stop it - with antibiotics or just a couple of pills. The next day I was told the lab didn't test for the right things so I had to give another sample. I wasn't walking the halls anymore for exercise but there was no doubt in my mind that I was getting a workout. I ran to the bathroom steady. Every time a nurse came in I would ask "Any news from the lab yet?". The answer was always "No". I thought how could this get any worse - it had been two days! I soon found out. I was loosing too much fluid so they hooked me up to IV. Now I was running to the bathroom with an IV pole that had 5 wheels each going in different directions! By this point I wasn't eating at all anymore. Every time I had to take my pills (morning & night) I would throw them up as soon as they hit my stomach. Most of my pills have to be taken with food. Since I couldn't take most of my pills I had to take them all through my IV except two. The next day still no news about the lab results. Now I was getting a little angry. Just because the nurses forgot to tell the lab what to test for the first time I'm still having the runs with no treatment for it in sight. I asked "Can't you put a rush on my sample, it's been three days!" They couldn't. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Now the nurses wanted to see how much fluid I was loosing, so they put two "hats" (buckets) in the toilet to catch everything. My dilemma now was where to put the toilet paper. I know this is probably gross, but this was my situation. After three and a half days of cramps and throwing up in the garbage (because I had to sit on the toilet for the other end) the lab results came back. I had C-def (an infection in the bowels or intestines). Everyone has this C-def in their bodies, but with my white count being down I couldn't fight it off. I was put on antibiotics and by the end of the day the runs were done.

I had become very weak loosing all that fluid and not eating anything for a couple days. The food tray would come in and I'd try to eat something, at least to get my strength back, but most often I would ask them to take the tray right back out because the smell made me want to throw up. Water was my drink and ginger ale became my "food" (it sat heavier in my stomach than water). I had a few mouth sores, but nothing to speak of, they didn't hurt. I was just very weak and very tired. The nurses are great and always ask "Is there anything we can get you or do for you?" I asked if they called husbands. The answer was yes. I couldn't even phone home I was so weak. For four days they called Pete or Pete would call the hospital for updates. Being 3 hours away didn't help much for Pete or the kids, they couldn't just pop over for a second, so they had to depend on what the nurses were telling him. I was very weak so even filling my cup with water or changing the toilet paper roll was a chore and very exhausting. In the other two isolation rooms there was always family there helping the patient, I had to do everything for myself and maybe that helped me in recovering quicker than usual. During my stay I was also loosing my hair. My scalp was very itchy from the chemo and every time I scratched it I would have 5-10 hairs in each hand. I scratched a lot. Also my bed and especially my pillow had looked like a dog had just shed it's hair in there. Once I got past the runs a nurse came in with the razor and took my hair down to the scalp. It felt very refreshing after all that itching. I recommend a buzz cut to everyone (at least try it once in your life!). At first I looked like my brother Albert. I told him he had a twin. He said, "Everyone wants to look like me". I told him "It cost a lot of money, but it was worth every penny!".

In my room the nurses hung a chart that listed all the results from my blood work. Every morning between 4 and 6 the nurses would come in and take a couple tubes of blood and flush out my permcath (to prevent blood clots). By breakfast the results would be posted on the chart, just like a report card. Of course the only section I (or any cancer patient) was interested in was the white cell count. When I first came to the hospital they were exceptionally high because of the drugs I took with the needle in my stomach. With each day after chemo the count would drop. It had to get to .05 and that is how low the computer could read it. It stayed at that number for maybe four days (everyone is different) and than it started to climb as I got better. It was when mine was so low that I couldn't call Pete or eat my food and was very weak. Once it started to climb it was going up a full number each day. I was trying to walk the halls to get my strength back and eating my food (even if it was only three bites of soup). The nurses were impressed how fast it was going that on Tuesday a nurse said you might go home soon, maybe on Friday. By Tuesday night they said I could probably go home the next day! I call Pete to see if he could pick me up. It was short notice for him and he had to plan his day. The next morning the doctor came in and said I could go home. I stayed till dinner time Wed. so Pete could get some work in. At 9:00 pm I was home! It worked out well that the kids had Thurs. & Fri. off and happened to be invited to some cousins houses. This way I could rest (they didn't know I came home till after they came back Sunday night).

Since coming home I have become stronger everyday. At first I would get out of bed and get a bowl of cereal and right away lie down on the couch all weak and shaking. Or after a quick shower I would jump back in bed before I could get dressed because it felt like I would faint. Now I can set the table, put dinner in the oven (which someone kindly made), eat and maybe help clear the table. Then I'm finished. Actually last Wednesday I had a shower, shaved my legs (no, that hair didn't fall out), tried off , dressed and than ran to the couch while saying hello to the helper from church on my way by. Such simple things, but major improvements to me. I even managed to make one service the past two Sundays, mind you I cling to Pete when we have to stand. It's one thing to be up and move around, it's another when you just stand. After church I talked to people, but than all of a sudden it hits me and I have to go and sit in the vehicle. Last Sunday I was starting to sweat because all of a sudden it's too much. I also wear my wig (the only times I've worn it, usually I wear a winter hat at home or go bald) which Pete likes. Actually I get a lot of compliments on it - it makes me look foxy! It colour is called "cherry cola", it's dark hair with cherry red in it. It comes to my jaw line and it's straight hair. It's the only day of the week I dress up - maybe that's why Pete likes the look. Usually I'm in comfy lounge clothes at home.

By the way most of the hair on my head fell out (lot's since coming home - especially after my showers) and some of my eye lashes (more from my right eye - not that you could tell), I was afraid to use my mascara thinking the hair would all stick to the wand! My arm hair hasn't budged - of course. My leg hair didn't fall out either, so Pete kindly asked that I maybe shave it some time. So I did and since than (a week ago) nothing has grown back.

Anyway, there is more to tell since coming back, but I'm going to make this blog a "to be continued" blog because I'm getting tired and my back is getting sore. I'll try to get back on tomorrow.

It's amazing the amount of mail I've gotten. I bought a big card box and It's over flowing!! Plus a ton of emails have come either to the hospital or here at home. The nurses were impressed at my mail flow. Anyone who mailed me in London and wonders whether I got their mail after I left for home, it's all being forwarded here - still to this day! I also have meals coming regularly and a helper comes every morning Monday - Friday. We are all definitely being taken care of and none of it is taken for granted. All of you have been amazing to us through the past months. We couldn't have done it without all of your ongoing support in all of your own ways. Thank you!!!

To be continued.....

Love Pete, Sharon, Natasha, Heather & Shaun.